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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From zauberlehrling:

your mother...

What happened: I was walking to the train station when a young male asked me for a dollar to buy a hooker. I was about to give my standard "sorry I don't have anything" that I say to most strangers who ask me for money. Then I did a double take, only a dollar? That's a pretty cheap hooker.

What I said: Sorry, I dont, but a dollar wouldn't get you very far anyways.

What I SHOULD have said: Only a dollar? There must be a sale at your mom's house.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!