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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From SurroundedByIdiots:

Oh, drivers ed

What happened: Sitting in drivers ed, one of the most horrid experiences of my life, and the guy next to me starts hitting on me. I'm polite, but certainly not encouraging. The guy behind us then turns to the guy who's flirting with me and says "Dude, do you *like* her?" The guy next to me says "so what if I do?" The guy behind us responds "Aw, come on. You can do better."

What I said: *blush* *turn away* erm...

What I SHOULD have said: "Perhaps, but you couldn't"

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!