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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Me:

Save our children

What happened: I was walking into a grocery store one day, and "had" to pass in front of a drug awareness booth set up by a local church. The way too clean cut man said"Sir,we are working to eliminate drugs and alcohol in our neighborhoods,would you like to help by donating a few dollars"?

What I said: No,I like drugs and alcohol.

What I SHOULD have said: No,I need it to buy drugs and alcohol!

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!