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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From mr. mooseman:

want a lick?

What happened: so I'm walking down the hall in school with my friend, and this random girl who I had some classes with like, two years ago comes up with this tootsie roll pop, licks it, hold it out and says, "Want a lick?"

What I said: no thanks

What I SHOULD have said: well, I should have just bit it

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!