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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From the nose flare:

Evil supermarket customers

What happened: I was in the supermarket shopping for fruit and accidently bumped into a lady's elbow. I apologised, but she didn't hear me because she had headphones on. Instead, she made a loud tutting noise and made a comment about me. I caught up with her and explained that I had apologised but she hadn't heard me because of her earphones. She out her hand in my face and said "No you didn't, I can lip read rudeness".

What I said: I did apologise though!!!

What I SHOULD have said: I shouldn't have said anything, I should have mouthed the words "f*** off then".

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!