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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Ranch Man:

For $50, I can't get any condiments?

What happened: Phoned in a pizza order to Pizza Hut. Three pizza's and some two orders of breadsticks later, and I had a bill of over $50. Well, not a problem, it is 3 large pizzas. I get to the store, pay for my pizza and wait patiently for serveral minutes past the time when my order should have been ready for pickup. When two of the three pizza's were brough to the counter, I calmly explained that I had 3 on order, so I needed one more. Again, no problem, I get the third. As I start to walk out, I forgot that I neglected to ask for a couple of ranch dressing packets (my family devours ranch dressing)....the response I got.....'oh, we charge extra for those'.

What I said: Really? I can't just get a couple? No, OK, whatever, thanks (this last part was completely dis-honest, I was NOT thankful to her for the non-delivery of ranch, nor anything about the entire experience unfortunately)....and I walked out.

What I SHOULD have said: So I pay over $50 for pizza's that cost less than $10 in ingredients (at most) to prepare, and you are going to charge me extra for a condiment that probably costs less than $.05 to make and package each? I would like a refund for the pizza's I haven't removed from the store yet, but I WILL purchase one packet of ranch dressing from you ;-)

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!