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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
Its not you...its your mom
What happened: A few years ago my boyfriend at the time was buying a house. As we waited for the realtor, he and his mom were having a heated discussion in Spanish (which I do not understand). He finally got fed up and shouted (in English), "Ask her yourself!" So his mother turned to me and asked, "Are all the women in your family as overweight as you?"
What I said: "Ummm..."
What I SHOULD have said: "Are all the women in your family so rude?" or "Have all the women in your family had as much plastic surgery as you?"
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!