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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Zach:


What happened: A friend and I (we'll call him Russ) were walking around the "gay" section of Chicago (North Halsted, "Boy's Town"). We came across a store called Gay-Mart, so we go in. We are walking around inside when I get past the gay stuff (which is really only up front) I see endless walls of old toys from the 80's when I grew up.

What I said: "Whoa" and was about to say "I'm coming here to get all of my toys from now on!!" But Russ heard that I said "Whoa" and interruped me mid sentance.... so all I really said was (very loud mind you): "Whoa, I'm coming....." Red face ensued...

What I SHOULD have said: "Uhhh.... Yay... Toys!!" or "Russ, looky here, toys!"

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!