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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Anon:

Say what?

What happened: A week plus back I was talking to a friend in science class about how I was volunteering for an older dance, one that I couldnt get in to, and I was working for Student Council, all of a sudden, this guy I hate, always making annoying remarks, said something of the likes of Grumblegrumble " . . . like they'd let you into formal . . ." grumblegrumble

What I said: I looked up, having heard him mumbling, or moreso, having not heard him, and merely said, 'What?' Genius, I know.

What I SHOULD have said: I should have said: A) "MUMBLER" B) "Eavesdropping's for people who don't make snide remarks while obviously doing so." C) "Why don't you and your Hick friends go make out with your cousins, eh?" D) "Shut your face, I'm sick of your comments, I have been since that time you punched me in the face, dude." E) "Everytime I see you, something impolite happens or is said to me. In case you were unaware that hitting girls is impolite."

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!