Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page

Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Curly Top:

Center Part

What happened: There's this girl at my school, whom I hate, and she's ugly/stupid/has a center part, and that morning my hair wasn't cooperating. So my straightener decided haha let's not fully straighten the back of her hair! My hair was curly in the back and my best friend let me know [so I could put it up] and then miss ugly/stupid/has a center part came over to me and is like, "You know if you straightened your hair in the back it'd look better."

What I said: Wowww.

What I SHOULD have said: You know if you waxed your eyebrows or parted your hair to the side you'd look better too.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!