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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Sheniferous:

The stomach is mightier than the...

What happened: So I'm at a party a few years ago. It was a great party and everyone was having a great time. There was this one girl in particular that I was "giving the eye" to the whole night. She noticed me and gave me a look or two back everytime I gazed over. A few hours later the host of the party brought out a big tray of hot dogs. Now since I hadn't eaten all day I was pretty damn hungry. I start moving my way toward the food table when out of the corner of my eye, the girl starts to approach me. She gets nearly in front of me and said "hi".

What I said: Not realizing what was going on since my stomach was in control of my brain at the time, I sidestepped her and blurted out "ohh! hot dogs!" to the horror and amazement of my friends. When informed of what I did just a few minutes earlier, I turned around and she was already gone.

What I SHOULD have said: Anything except "ohh! hot dogs!". ANYTHING at all! *sob*

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!