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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
The Twisted Sex Talk
What happened: My dad heard from an unrevealed source that whenever I went over to one of my friends houses that I would have sex with my girlfriend in front of other people.
What I said: That is ridiculous, that is insane, how could you believe that?
What I SHOULD have said: Yeah, and I charged them for the show.
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!