Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page
Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
A Right Pair
What happened: I was out at a club one night wearing a new top that I have to admit was a little low cut. I needed the loo so myself and a friend went and waited in the queue, which happened to be all the way up a flight of stairs. About halfway up the stairs, wedged against the wall, some guy comes walking down the stairs on the other side, stops just above me, looks down my top and goes 'are they both real?'
What I said: I glared. Really hard. It counts, right?
What I SHOULD have said: Yes. Are yours?
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!