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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From sara:

I know...

What happened: so i totally loved this guy and we flirted all the time during a drama production. at the end of the production they presented superlatives at the cast party. they were funny ones that went along with the musical. everyone voted for me and this guy for "most likely to go to the footbridge together." of course, i was sick and couldn't even be at the party. when i saw him on monday and he told me we had won the superlative, i said "why do you think they voted for us?" trying to seem like i was clueless and didn't like him. he turns to me, in the middle of a crowd of people and says "i know you like me"

What I said: "uhhhhhhh...i guess.. i guess so....i...uhh..i don't know....GOTTA GO!"

What I SHOULD have said: "and i know you like me so how about dinner on saturday" or "yep. what are you going to do about it?" or "DONT CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!" ok not that last one but the other two would be better

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!