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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
The So-Called Friend
What happened: I admit, in middle school I was no rose. I was sorta awkward and very shy and I had one very close friend, lets call her Angela. So one day way back then I saw Angela talking to this boy from our English class. I started to walk over, but when I came near he left. I asked her what happened and she said "I saw that you were coming over and I told him and he left because he said he didn't want to talk to you because you're ugly"(great way to tell me) I was really upset and said something along the lines of am I really ugly?, and she looked at me sympathetically and said, "well maybe if you wore some makeup...."
What I said: nothing, I was too shocked and embarrassed.
What I SHOULD have said: aww thanks. And maybe if you lost some weight people would like you more!
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!