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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
How badly did I want him?
What happened: I had been ABSOLUTELY CRAZY about this boy for over a year. I was COMPLETELY obsessed. He was all I ever thought about, all I ever talked about, and I ran around telling people I was in love. He hardly knew I existed. I mean, i sat next to him EVERY DAY in band. But we never talked. And apparently someone told him that i liked him. At a school dance, I finally plucked up the courage to ask him to slow dance. As we were dancing, he said, "Is it all right if we ... just be friends?"
What I said: "Of course!" and then mumbled some stuff about the situation...
What I SHOULD have said: "What if I said 'no'? What would you do then?"
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!