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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From abah:

im not gay!

What happened: Some friends and I were sitting at the foodcourt in the mall one night. I like to joke around with them about my sexuality, since I am straight but have been known to act gay. My friend, let's call him John, was telling stories about being on a rowing team in high school. When he explained about there being seven other guys in the boat, one of my friends said, "So, how does it make you feel knowing that John shared a boat with seven other guys?" John and I are usually hanging out together because I don't like being at home, and he drives.

What I said: How do you think we met?

What I SHOULD have said: But I have him all to myself now...

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!