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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Snappy McWhitterson:

Yo momma redux

What happened: In the 9th grade I was having a classic "Yo Momma" battle with a kid on the school bus ride home. After a few rounds of the basics, I proclaimed, "If Yo Momma had been 10 cents cheaper I could have been your father." To which the reply was, "Fool, your broke ass couldn't have been my father if my mother was a whole dollar cheaper."

What I said: Something about his momma being fat, and then the contest petered out.

What I SHOULD have said: "If your mother would have been a dollar cheaper she would have owed me money!"

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!