Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page

Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Dan Zante:

So THAT'S why the grass looks greener...

What happened: I was eating lunch with my friend and his family at their house one Sunday afternoon when his grandma started launching into this story. Apparently there were some people next-door to her house and they were having sex and then just throwing the used condoms on her lawn. It was around this time that I felt it necessary to make an awkward comment.

What I said: I hear those make good fertilizer!

What I SHOULD have said: Make sure you take them off before laying down any fertilizer or only .01% of your lawn will turn green.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!