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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
From Sabriel Black:
GHD = Good Hair Day?
What happened: I have rather a lot of wild ginger hair that seems, most of the time, to manage to defy gravity and grow outwards as opposed to down. Not quite cool enough to be an afro, I have a self-confessed puff ball sitting on my head most of the time. My friends are really cool about it and have managed to convince me that without it, I wouldn't be me :) However, there are some people who would rather convince me otherwise. Take this girl at my new school. She made the comment of "Oi. You. Frizzy. Know what GHDs are?" Not v. original I know but, having no time to think and wanting save as much face as possible...
What I said: Yes. Yes I do *continued walking* (she responded by telling me to get some. GHDs are v. expensive hair straighteners for anyone that doesn't know. I did have some but I lost them - different story...)
What I SHOULD have said: Well this is where I need your help. I get this almost daily and it would be really nice to have some witty comebacks (that preferably don't result in me being beaten to a pulp). I suppose I should have said something along the lines of "Do you know what a shower is? Coz it doesn't look like it"...
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!