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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Matt Cruise:

Dumb and Dumber called, they want their ending back.

What happened: I was driving in the passager seat of my brothers car, and we came to a red light. When the light turned green He turned left and the car going through the intersection (with it's blinker blinking right) went forward. It was a slight low speed accident, no real damage or injuries but we got out anyway to exchange info. While I was standing there next to the car, a limo drives up. I'm serious. The windows roll down and three girls ask "Need a lift"... I had about two seconds to think, it was a busy road and my brother was a little bit down the street talking to the other guy. I had no time to inform him, also they were going the other way I needed to go.

What I said: "No thanks, I'm fine"

What I SHOULD have said: I probably made the logical choice in hindsight, as I doubt I was gonna get any, and considering my age at the time my mother would of grounded me for a month. But it was probably retarded of me not say "HELL YES I NEED A RIDE"

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!