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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Jimma:

Whats it to you?!

What happened: Chris at work is a stupid 40-year old bloke who's work output is nearly none-existant, but due to his sharp (and somewhat rude) tongue, he is never challenged about the fact he does very little. When in a discussion about my new pet ferret, he quite simply butted in with: "WHY THE HELL DID YOU GET A FERRET?"

What I said: What?

What I SHOULD have said: For the same reason you've got a dog. To keep it as a pet, just like people have been doing for over 2,000 years.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!