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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From roooooaaar:

unlikely peare

What happened: My English teacher is really arrogant and seems to think its O.K to skip out parts that are 'unnecessary' from Shakespeare's Macbeth.(we were reading it but I guess he hadn't insulted our intelligence enough so we watched the movie instead...) So i wrote on a piece of paper "[teachers_name] > Shakespeare ? " and passed it to my friend. He saw, came over and complained for me to stop which i did. He then called me back after class and said "do you not want to do English next year? " (sorry in advance but the next part is not a single quote)

What I said: Me: Of course i do. d*ckhead: well if you are not going to pay attention to the movie then i don't think you should because its very important next year. Me: well its not like the story is going to be spoiled we all know what happens. moron: Oh so you have read all the poetry then? Me: well perhaps i could if we were reading it and i could see some and you didn't skip half of it then pause to explain things that need no explanation i could!! deafeated: say sorry...... me: sorry PAUSE NOT

What I SHOULD have said: HOW NOW THY SECRET MIDNIGHT BLACKENED HAG!! or No man born of woman can make me apologise for being a jerk! i just wanted to quote something from the story :( (btw i got a detention)

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!