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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:


Folger?! I hardly know her!

What happened: I'm a server at the Olive Garden and one busy night I had a lady order a cup of coffee. Now with my luck, there was no fresh, hot coffee, only luke warm coffee. So, being in the hurry that I was, I added some hot water to it, hoping it would hold her over til a fresh pot could be made. Throughout the next 10-15 minutes things did not go well for this party and they all started complaining to/about me. The lady seemed to be really upset and yelled at me for "adding hot water to her coffee!" like it was some capital crime.

What I said: I apologized profusely and focused on them for the rest of their meal. I was so stunned, thinking she'd caught me!

What I SHOULD have said: "Ma'am, do you have any idea how vital water is to the coffee making process? How do you think it goes from bean to liquid? You're welcome!"

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!