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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
If you do this, I will kill you
What happened: There is nothing worse in this world than someone who, regardless of health, wealth or mindset chooses to get in a lift to go up ONE bleeding floor. Everytime this happens I want to smack them as hard as possible
What I said: I usually bite my tongue instead of asking....
What I SHOULD have said: Are the stairs out of order you lazy f*&?
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!