Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page

Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Sammi:

Out Of Focus

What happened: I have an eye problem that prevents my eyes from focusing on things. My eyes just move back and forth, so the whole world looks like it's moving. Since it's a condition I've had since birth, I'm used to it. What gets me are the stupid people that think I'm not. I cannot tell you how many times that someone or other has asked me if I knew that my eyes were moving back and forth.

What I said: Um, yeah, I know.

What I SHOULD have said: No, but thank you for pointing out my medical problem that I've had since birth. I might never have noticed if it weren't for you and your powers of observation.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!