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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From screamation:

Don't break the camera! D:

What happened: My friend (who isn't that pretty. Or thin. Or anything) asked me to take a picture of her. The picture sucked and she complained that my $300 camera sucked and I said what I said.

What I said: Dude, that cost me 300 bucks!

What I SHOULD have said: Don't blame the God-damned camera muffin top! (urban dictionary search it)

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!