Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page
Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
Gas station bastard
What happened: Waiting at the pump, a guy driving an H2 snuck in ahead of me, just as the person I was behind drove off.
What I said: "I was here first, a*****e."
What I SHOULD have said: Nothing. I should have torn his b***s off and put them in the gastank of the waste of steel he calls a vehicle.
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!