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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From lukeoverthere:

Luke I am original

What happened: Okay so basically anyone with the name 'Luke' knows that walking down the street you will get at least 5 people a day say to you 'Luke I am your father', 'Feel the force Luke', or quite alot 'LUKE..... over there'.

What I said: Roll my eyes and ignore them

What I SHOULD have said: Go Luke in a mirror wise guy.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!