Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page
Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
I'm Fogcutter Guy
What happened: My wife and I went to a Chinese restaurant that we often frequent. For my drink I ordered my usual: a 'fogcutter'. The waiter responded, smiling, "Yeah, yeah, you're Fogcutter Guy!" We got a good laugh out of that, and joked about it throughout the meal. When we went outside to leave, a thick fog had rolled in and we couldn't see ten feet in front of us. My wife turned to me and said, "Look at this fog. I guess that fogcutter didn't work."
What I said: I laughed at her joke.
What I SHOULD have said: "What fog?"
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!