Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page
Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
What happened: I was sitting in a Marine recruitment office before working out, and two recruiters came out of one of the rooms, one I knew somewhat well and the other was a stranger. The stranger walked out a little irritated over something while the guy I knew sat down near me and said "He's just jealous that my penis is bigger."
What I said: I laughed I little, and was really silent like I usually am.
What I SHOULD have said: I thought this up just too late: "So that's what you guys were doing in there? Don't forget the whole 'don't ask, don't tell' policy" (There were plenty of other Marines that would have heard).
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!