Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page
Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
Straight A's cuz I do Drugs...
What happened: Well, In school I get almost straight A's. And I guess I like to stand out in the crowd, so I dress like a punk rocker sometimes. So one day, I came to school with red eyeliner and eyeshadow on. When I get to my history class my jerk-off teacher says "wow, what are you..some kind of druggie or something"
What I said: "yep, I get straight A's and I do drugs..."
What I SHOULD have said: Oh yeah, all the time, you shoulda seen your son, he was so high...
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!