Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page

Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Lex Black:

Kung Fu fighting

What happened: I was in my Kung Fu class. For the second time in like forever, I wasn't the only female student.The teacher decided since we had an even number, we should grapple. For those of you who don't know, grappling is where one person sits on you and you try to throw them off. It was the girl's and my first time grappling. Why teacher couldn't have said what I said is a mystery, because what came out was "OK, who want top and who wants bottom!" He was staring right at me.

What I said: With the straightest face I've had in years: "As a girl, I never thought I'd need to answer that question."

What I SHOULD have said: "Uhhhh, you pick." Because no one could look at me for the rest of the night (including two really cute guys) without laughing till they fell down.

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!