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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Tayla:

psh..i'm not a bear

What happened: I'm off to college next year...and as of right now, I'm totally fed up with living at home. My controlling parents and obnoxious town (let's call it...ATOWN for lack of a clever name) I got in an argument a few days ago with my parents and told them i hate living with them, i hate this town, etc...so it's been weird since then. I'm going up to school in a foresty area, which is way different from down where i live( lets call this place STOWN). My dad and i got in a big argument and he tried to diss me by saying "OHH there's gonna be a new bear in the forests of STOWN"

What I said: i didn't say anything i just gave him an evil glare and went upstairs

What I SHOULD have said: Yeah, but bears belong in the forest, not ATOWN (i hate to explain a comeback but some people may not get it..i was saying i dont belong in my town that i need to leave)

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!