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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
What happened: i am a teenager and about 5'1". most teenagers are about half a foot taller than i am, so i've gotten remarks daily since as long as i can remember.
i often get remarks saying "you're short" or something along those lines. shouldn't bother me, i know, but it does get on my nerves after a while. i need some good comebacks! any ideas?!
What I said: i know
What I SHOULD have said: anything else
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!