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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From BraSilian Proud:

I wish I was Brazilian!!

What happened: I just moved to the UK at the time and began a new school immediately, so around 4 months later I was invited to go to an University experience, and I did go. I went with people I didn't know, but I didn't mind that much, they were the "popular" ones that I would really not talk to because they seem "superficial" and didn't like foreigners, and that looked like if they wouldn't really be bothered with being around me. AND one of them included the major crush of one of my friends. Although it didn't bother me, it did feel akward being around them and talking to them, because they seemed not interested. We were at the break time and the 'major crush' knew I was from Brazil, so he was talking to me about it and seemed to be completely interested about it, he even seemed to be hyper; and said "Oh, that's so cool, I wish I was Brazilian!!!"

What I said: *In total BLANK* Oh.. erm... thats...nice... *smiles* *feels akward*

What I SHOULD have said: Well, you near one!

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!