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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From bandgeek:

You can fix it.....

What happened: I am a Filipino band geek. So I was at practice. We were having our lunch break, and I was sitting with my friends. Suddenly, all hell broke lose when a girl spilt soda on her beloved DVD player (pretty stupid in my opinion. She was freaking out; so, I tried to help (aka drying it out with a napkin and telling her to use a hair dryer at home on it). I was drying it out when this complete dumb*ss says to me, "Come on, you're Asian you can fix it."

What I said: Nothing. I just hit him.

What I SHOULD have said: I really have no idea about what I should have said. Maybe something like: "I'm micropolynesian, dumb*ss"

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!