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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From GiddyGirl:

10-4 Good Buddy

What happened: My senior year of high school I decided to ditch class with a friend of mine. We drove over to the nearby college campus and were taking advantage of the massive puddles that were left from the rainstorm the night before. I made it a point to slosh as much water up on the innocent bystanders walking through campus. Sure enough, I get pulled over. The cop comes up to my window and gives me some crap about not being in school. Then he asks me, "How would you like it if I made you stand up on that curb and I drive by and splash you with the puddle?"

What I said: Nothing. Just gave my girliest poutiest look possible.

What I SHOULD have said: "If it will get me out of a ticket, let's do it."

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!