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Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:

From Hunter:

Bathroom etiquette

What happened: I was at my friends' place and went to the washroom. I finished and left, and my friends' sister goes into the washroom after me. She comes out and declares to the whole room, "Finally! A man who puts the seat back down!"

What I said: Of course, it's common courtesy.

What I SHOULD have said: Put it back down? I didn't even lift it up in the first place!

on the stairs

L'esprit d'escalier

The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.

Or is it?

Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!