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TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR THE USE OF THIS WEB SITE

By viewing, clicking on any part, or existing within the same universe as this web site, site visitor unequivocally and irrevocably agrees to all the following terms and conditions:

1. Permissions and Identity Information

Site visitor agrees that the owner, operator, or administrator of this web site may cause to be installed on site visitor's computer software that records information on the site visitor's computer and transmits this information to said owner, operator or administrator of this web site. Information so gathered may include but is not limited to bank account and credit card account numbers, passwords, authorization codes and outstanding and remaining credit lines and balances. Site visitor furthermore grants full and unfettered permission and authorization for the owner, operator or administrator of this web site to use such information in any manner desired by the owner, operator or administrator of this web site, including the transfer of funds from accounts owned by the site visitor to those that may be owned by the owner, operator or administrator of this web site. Site visitor further agrees to hold the owner, operator or administrator of this web site harmless in any matters that may transpire in regards to such transfers.

Site visitor further agrees to adjust available balances accessible through the above-described means to conform to the requests of the owner, operator, or administrator of this web site, within two (2) business days of such notice.

Site visitor additionally grants total and unfettered permission to the owner, operator or administrator of this web site to utilize any collected usernames, passwords and other identity information to freely explore any stored information on any web site, database, or similar service exposable through the possession of such authorization, and to hold the owner, operator or administrator of this web site harmless in any matters that may transpire in regards to the owner, operator or administrator of this web site posing as the site visitor and making posts under such identity on any social web site or other similar service.

2. Social participation

If the site visitor (1) is a current or recent (within ten years) title holder of a state or national beauty pageant; (2) is a current or recent (within ten years) swimsuit or intimate apparel model appearing within a published Victoria's Secret catalog or appearing on a Victoria's Secret television broadcast; (3) is a current or recent (within ten years) featured model in a Sports Illustrated annual swimsuit issue; or (4) is Megan Fox; site visitor agrees, with five (5) days notice, to appear as the escort of the owner, operator or administrator of this web site to a senior prom, class reunion, local open source user group, or similar social function, dressed in apparel that is tastefully revealing, and further agrees to at least once in each five minutes during the course of such event to make a positive and unequivocal statement that she is indeed the date of the owner, operator or administrator of this web site.

3. Site administrator gratuities

Site visitor agrees, within thirty (30) minutes of having been given notice through such means as text message, email, tweet or Facebook message, to cause to have delivered to an address specified in such communication by the the owner, operator or administrator of this web site, a hot pizza of at least twelve (12) inch diameter, including such toppings (including "extra cheese") as specified in the request, but never in any case including fewer than three (3) meat ingredients. Delivered materials shall also include large sized bottles of cola beverages in the amount specified in the requesting communication, but never in any case totaling fewer than two (2) bottles of at least sixteen (16) ounce capacity. All pizza and beverages shall be delivered pre-paid, including a generous, favor-inducing tip for the delivery person.

4. Enforceability and jurisdiction

Should site visitor become aware of any jurisdiction, environment, or non-fantasy dimension of reality in which the above conditions are enforceable, site visitor agrees to contact the owner, operator or administrator of this web site at once. But nobody else. Especially the other guys in the local open source user group.

Copyright © 2009 James Edmunds